Let it all hang out

For a while now I have been wanting to start a new blog where I could say whatever I want and not worry about who is reading it, but deep down I would like someone to be reading it and I would really enjoy comments. When I started my first blog, it was going to be all about me, but now it is more about my kids, and I am using it to keep family and friends up to date on how we are doing. Here I would like to write more and express my views on different things in my life. Currently I am not that great at using humor to relate uncomfortable or disturbing life situations so I would like to develop that better. So I am going to start out with my three biggest problems in life currently and try to explore them. First, my husband has become very uptight lately. He is overprotective and afraid the kids are going to get hurt all the time. I don't really know how to deal with it. Second, I can't seem to get rid of my spare tire. I tried this morning to only eat fruits and vegetables for breakfast, and it was going really well, becasue I really didn't feel hungry so I reasoned that I didn't need to eat a lot because I wasn't hungry anyway, but by the time we got home from swimming lessons at 12:30 I was ravenous and ate some tortilla chips with french onion dip that had way too much fat and salt in them, and I still don't feel satiated but I can't figure out what else to do. I have this place in the middle of my forehead that feels foggy and wants me to eat chocolate or something red. My third problem is being happy being a mom. Although there are plenty of blissful motherhood moments scattered throughout the day there are too many frustrated or regretful moments. I think back on my life and think of when I was happiest. I really liked my college years when I was constantly intellectually stimulated and was full of myself and my uniqueness, but now I don't have classes to go to with professors challenging me and I don't care all that much about looking "cool" anymore, like I couldn't even come up with a "cool" looking outfit if I tried. The bummer part of those years was that I always felt lonely and was in a desperate search for my "one true love." Now that I have found him, I don't have all that mystery and excitement to look forward too, and I still get kinda lonely just in different ways. I think about on my mission when I felt full of purpose and knew that I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do, and I was sure that I was doing it the right way. Now, I know that I am supposed to be raising my children in love and peace and helping them develop their talents and learn right from wrong and be productive members of society and feel good about themselves, and not have all the complexes that I grew up with like thinking that you are not good enough for certain people or institutions. But I feel really lost as to accomplish all of those things. More later