Korean kids swimming

Yesterday I took Adriana to a swimming birthday party. As I was watching her swim I kinda noticed that more than half the kids there looked Korean. I got talking to the parents and found out that the birthday girl was adopted from Korea and has a lot of Korean adoptee friends. The parents make the effort to keep in touch and get together a lot. Most of the kids were adopted as infants and are turning six now, so the parents have been at it for a while. I told one of the moms how important I thought that was that they help them keep close as they are growing up. Sarah was really on my mind since it was the anniversary of her death, and I told the mom I was talking to about what a hard time Sarah had with self-image issues as a teenager, but I stopped short of telling her about her death. I got all teary eyed watching those kids swim because it was like a flashback to our childhood. One boy was a dead ringer for Luke, diving for rings over and over. It is neat to adoptive parents interact with their kids and see how much they treasure them and love them. One mom was frantic as her son kept diving in seemly unaware of the eminent danger of drowning that his mom was sure awaited him.
It got me thinking about the night before when one of the boys from our ward buried Annika's shoe in the sand and could not remember where. Only his dad and 4 of his 7 siblings had come to the barbecue because his mom and older siblings were at the musical they were in. His father didn't think it was a big deal that he had buried her shoe, and I felt like strangling them both, the son for doing it and the father for not caring, that now my daughter had only one shoe and for not holding his son accountable. Once his mom told me that when people ask her how she does it, raising 7 kids she said that she can do it because she doesn't mind a little chaos and she isn't the kind of mom that can't leave the house if the diaper bag isn't perfectly packed. Once the dad took the 2 year old's diaper off in nursery and was standing around chatting, while she played, diaperless. I couldn't stand by watch it so, I gave him a diaper, it didn't phase him at all.
What I am getting at is that when I think about having more kids, I get scared that some of them would fall through the cracks, like run around with a bare bottom in nursery, or bury someone's shoe, and that it wouldn't phase me, because I would be so overwhelmed or past caring....I don't think that mom who hoped and prayed for a baby for years and was finally blessed with a brave son from Korea, and frantically watches him dive in the pool, would think it was no big deal if he buried someone's shoe, and would never let him run around without a diaper. I want to be more like her.
I remember having Kara over to our house as a teenager and she gave our dog Guliver so much love and attention, it floored me. I had never seen someone so interested in him before. Then I realized that that is how I felt at her house, her mom was always interested in my life and asked me all kinds of questions, it lifted me up and I felt important and better about myself.
I am learning a lot about showing love from my new walking friend. She has two kids and adores them both for their strengths and weaknesses. She is so in tune with their needs and personalities. I have been having a hard time thinking about all four of my kids at the same time, they are all so little and have so many needs. They all need so much of my attention, and often I feel like I come up short, but I am trying to be more cognizant and shower them with the love and attention they need to thrive.